


Warriors Don't Cry.

by 360loverpenguin



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Character Study - Sokka, Episode: s03e04 Sokka's Master, Gen, Post-Episode: s03e18-21 Sozin's Comet, Sokka's insecurities
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-14
Updated: 2020-12-14
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:08:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28074459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/360loverpenguin/pseuds/360loverpenguin
Summary: Days like this were always hard. Times when he was reminded how much he didn’t deserve to hold a spot fighting alongside some of the most powerful benders in the world. He could train as much as he wanted, work to be the best warrior he could be. It still wouldn’t change things.He was happy for Katara. That much was the truth. She had fought so hard to become the master she was, and he was so proud of her.But she wasn’t supposed to be the one protecting him.
Relationships: Katara & Sokka (Avatar), Sokka/Suki (Avatar)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 16
Collections: ATLA Winter Solstice 2020





	Warriors Don't Cry.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Myargalargan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Myargalargan/gifts).



> Written for the Atla Winter Solstice 2020 event!
> 
> Sokka's always been my favourite character, so I thought I'd delve a bit deeper into some of his insecurities, and where he eventually finds the tools to, though they might not be resolved, set them aside and overcome them.
> 
> Told in three segments; the first during Sokka's Master, a flashback to when he and Katara were young kids, and the final act just after Sozin's Comet. Enjoy!!

Sokka took a deep breath, hands gripping the coarse wood of the dock he now sat on. Whatever Fire Nation town they had stopped in was drawn out behind him, the ocean dancing out as far as he could see in front.

And here he was; caught in the middle. Stagnant. Just like always.

His eyes burned with unshed tears as he forced them to remain shut. He wouldn’t cry over this. It wasn’t like he was a little kid anymore. There were bigger problems looming over them; the days before the eclipse were slipping through their fingers every moment they looked away from their goal.

He angrily dug his hands further against the wood, feeling the imprints it would no doubt leave against his palms. Why was he being so ridiculous about this? He should be making sure they were staying on track, that Aang was training… anything but sitting here uselessly. Again.

Days like this were always hard. Times when he was reminded how much he didn’t deserve to hold a spot fighting alongside some of the most powerful benders in the world. He could train as much as he wanted, work to be the best warrior he could be. It still wouldn’t change things.

He was happy for Katara. That much was the truth. She had fought so hard to become the master she was, and he was so proud of her.

But she wasn’t supposed to be the one protecting him.

All of his friends - more family at this point - years younger than him, had to risk their lives to protect him. It felt everyday like he was failing the one task his dad had given him before he left.

“Keep your sister safe.”

Sokka choked out a bitter laugh that sounded more like a strangled sob. Great job he was doing there.

Days like this were always hard. Had been since he was a kid. As he kicked at the crystal water at his feet, sending minuscule ripples out for miles, he thought of the first time this weight had settled in the back of his mind. The first week their small family, then together rather than scattered to the winds, had discovered Katara could waterbend.

——

Sokka roughly scrubbed at his stinging eyes with the back of his dark blue mitten. He ran as fast as his small legs would carry him, not caring how far from the village he disappeared.

As he stumbled through the too-deep snow, he willed the threads of tears dripping down his face to leave. He was going to be a warrior one day, just like his dad. Warriors didn’t cry.

His legs burned as he finally reached the edge of the thundering ocean, spanning out from him for hundreds of thousands of miles. He sucked in one harsh breath after the other, the frigid air scraping at his lungs.

Sokka spared a quick glance back towards the village. Shrouded in a thin whisp of fog that had spurred out of the stagnant, frozen air, it was barely visible to him.

He whipped back around to face the icy water, tugging on his short wolftail with determination. Good. It would take them longer to find him. More time to practise.

Sokka tried to remember how Katara had described it. She said she could ‘feel the water’, and just… waterbend? He nodded. He could do that too.

He stretched out his hand, standing as close to the edge of the ice he could without falling in. He watched the steady thrum of the waves beating against the shore in a monotonous rhythm. He memorized the water’s chosen pattern. If you gave him a drum, he could replicate it instantly.

But he couldn’t feel anything different inside of him.

He frowned, this time reaching out both his arms. He tapped his foot along to the deafening roar of the waves. He slowly stretched his arms above his head, watching the water intently to see the moment it started to rise; just like it had for Katara.

——

His arms were sore and aching by the time he finally accepted that he was, in fact, a nonbender.

His feet felt heavy and numb from the thick South Pole waters that had splashed over him in the past few hours. His face was burned from the whipping wind intent on running its’ way through the village that lay to his back.

Here, in the space in between, he felt trapped. Sokka sunk down to his knees, trying to silence his sobs as much as he could in the sleeve of his jacket.

He was cold, everything hurt, exhaustion laced his bones… but it felt like a weight tying him to his spot as he realized he’d never be as special as Katara.

He remembered Gran-Gran going on about destiny, and how everyone had a path only they could fulfill. He hadn’t exactly understood what she meant but… was his ‘path’ really only to be second best?

“Sokka!” He started at the sudden voice. One he knew all too well.

He harshly scrubbed at his face, banishing any trace of tears that might’ve been remaining. His legs shook as he stood up to face his sister.

“Mom said you better be home for dinner.” The four year old said matter-of-factly. “They’ve been looking for you for the past hour.”

He only half-listened to what she said. All he could see was the way his mom’s face had lit up when it was revealed that Katara was the first bender in their tribe since, what seemed to Sokka, forever.

As he forced himself to begin heading back home, to where things could never be the same again, he lightly pushed past Katara so she wouldn’t see his tears.

As the pair walked in silence, the wind switched directions, tugging at something in Sokka he couldn’t explain, pushing him back towards the village.

——

Sokka wrapped his arms tight around Suki, ignoring the way waves of pain rippled through his leg, ignoring the way both of them smelled irreparably of ash and flames. They were here, they had survived, and they were together.

A part of him still expected to be startled awake from this dream. They had fought the Fire Nation during Sozin’s Comet - and had somehow not just survived, but won the war!

Tears dripped freely from his eyes as a smile pushed its way onto his face. He felt Suki hold him with just as much force, all that could not be said shared between them. How lucky they were, how relieved they felt to still be standing together.

“We’re alive,” Suki said, voice raspy and tired from the day’s events as she took half a step back. She lightly brushed a few tears from his cheek. “I still can’t believe Aang… we did it.”

She gently pressed her forehead against his, and for the first time since the war started, Sokka let out a breath of relief, letting whatever tension he could escape him and fade up into the atmosphere.

It was harder to forget the feeling of panic when he’d seen Suki’s airship slip out of sight; thinking for sure he’d lost her again.

But she’d come back. Just like she always had.

When it came down to it, Sokka hadn’t been the one to save her that day. She had done that herself. And maybe that was okay.

Maybe he didn’t need to be the one keeping everyone else safe. Maybe it wasn't so bad to let others take up that mantle as well.

After what felt like an eternity, Sokka finally opened his eyes, turning to the rest of his family. He leaned against Suki’s shoulder as he looked over their group.

Though they were all exhausted, he could see the joy of their victory, the one that hadn’t won only for themselves, painted over their collective expressions.

He turned to his sister, noticing the soft smile on her face beneath her tired blue eyes as she tended to Zuko’s wound.

She had done so much for their victory in this battle. Had been the real hero of the day.

His heart swelled with pride as he took note of how far she had come since the day they had broken Aang out of the iceberg.

And for once, here with the family he knew would always be around, that nagging weight in the back of his mind was gone.

**Author's Note:**

> Happy holidays, Myargalargan!! Hope you enjoyed this, and are having a great season. It was so much fun to get to be your Secret Santa.


End file.
